Fighting for my Academic Life

I heard back from two Universities (neither positive) so I decided to contact University A, my first choice since I submitted the applications. The Graduate Secretary informed me I was on an unofficial waiting list, but that it was unlikely I would be offered a place because my undergrad marks were pulling my GPA down.

I was disappointed, but Minako and others pushed me to go explain myself. Dr. Sylvester, the person I was hoping to work with and University A. He was very encouraging and directed me to Dr. Trogdor, the Graduate Coordinator of the Department at University A. Trogdor explained that my average made me ineligible for funding from the Faculty of Graduate Studies at University A, meaning the Department would have to fund me instead of funding four other MA students over the next four years, and that was unlikely.

So I called the Faculty of Graduate Studies. They explained that they take the past 20 half credits for my GPA, and that they will go back as far as it takes (i.e. it doesn’t matter that it’s almost ten years ago, and it won’t change ten years from now). However, there is the possibility I could enter as an MA student with the possibility of switching to the PhD program once my GPA climbed high enough.

I contacted Trogdor again and he is brining it to the admissions committee.

Meanwhile, I contacted University B, my second choice, and they gave me the same message: Marks too low. I asked if they would consider admitting me to a qualifying year, and they said they would consider it.

Offers to MA students have been made at both Universities, so enough people would have to decline or the Departments would have to make an exception.

My other options? I could take a year of undergrad classes to raise my average (funded by student loan) and apply once that is done (although that may not play as well with the admissions committees). I could also find an MA program still accepting applicants and go there. Ontario apparently has a lot of money to throw at Grad students.

On top of that, leaving Halifax and Minako suddenly seems like a very very sad thing. I mean, I always knew it would be difficult, but now it seems much more… just worse.

So after a week of going to meetings, making phone calls, pleading for my academic life, feeling rejected, not eating properly, I am taking a mental health day, which is also a day to catch up on the things I have been neglecting.

I am afraid. I am deflated. I am tired. I think I might be getting sick.

A small (big) part of me wonders if I’m trying to do something out of reach.

“…patience, yeah, yeah”

Soundtrack[CLICK HERE]

I have a friend at work who asks me what’s new every week. Every week I say the same thing. Same old same old. Waiting. For everything.

Waiting to hear back from Universities is a major thing I’m waiting. My future is in the hands of admissions committees around the country.

I have heard back from one university so far (didn’t get in) and it was my safety university (the one you apply to, even though you don’t really like it, because you are sure it’s a slam dunk). They didn’t like my academic background.

And in the meantime I just bide my time. That’s what it feels like.

I suppose, technically, I am not JUST waiting. I am doing things in the meantime. I’m still working on my novel (well, starting again after a marking interlude of a couple of weeks). I even joined a writers group lately. I am TAing a class (thus the marking) But it all feels like different ways to pass the time while I wait.

Because, whether I get into the local school, a further away school, or no school, there will be dramatic changes. I can’t work another year at the McLibrary. I almost applied for lower paying jobs in the library system a couple of weeks ago, but decided to stay. I do, after all, have a trip to England in the summer to pay for, and if I do get into school I will need all the money I can get. So I bide my time.

Wait.

I hate waiting