Ode to a Middle Reliever

Scott Downs had a big future in front of him in 1999. After bouncing around a little in the minors, everyone expected him to be a major league starter, a left handed starter at that. Left handed starters are a little more valuable because they are more rare. Theoretically, it's harder for a left handed hitter to face a left handed pitcher. Something about the arm angle.

Downs was so valuable that the Cubs traded him to Montreal for Rondell White in 2000. Now, White had some injury troubles, but he was still the kind of players who had power, speed, could hit for average and hold his own in the outfield. The Cubs were trying to go for the post-season and Montreal was looking to build for the future. They hadn't had a consistent left handed starter for years.

Unfortunately, Downs didn't fit the bill.

Not long after coming to Montreal, he had injury problems. He didn't pitch for two years, which is an eternity for a young prospect. He bounced back and forth between Montreal and the minors for a little while until Montreal finally released him in 2004.

He had nothing. Some minor league success, but it hadn't translated to major league success. He didn't turn into the left handed power house that people expected him to be. He signed a minor league deal with Toronto, and eventually worked his way into their bullpen. Now he's a middle reliever.

Let me explain. In baseball, there are many types of pitchers.

There is the starting pitcher, the guy who starts the game. A good starting pitcher will go for at least 6 innings in a game (that is called a quality start... anything less than 6 lacks quality...). They get a lot of Innings Pitched, Wins, and if they throw the right kinds of pitches (hard fastballs as opposed to lots of breaking balls), lots of Strikeouts.

There is the closer, the guy who comes in for the last inning or two, usually when their team has a lead of less than 4 runs. In other words, if there is a chance the other team could win it in three at bats, they call the closer. The closer gets Saves.

There is also the setup man, the guy who comes in just before the closer. Often times this is a young guy, chomping at the bit to move into the closer role.

Finally, there is the middle reliever. He's the guy that comes in when the starting pitcher gets injured, or just really sucks out, and it's too soon to bring in the setup-man, or the game isn't worth wasting their time. They are the garbage men of baseball. Middle relievers are guys that aren't good enough to start or close, but are good enough and cheap enough to be a part of the team.

These guys aren't all guys who are "just happy to be there." These are guys, like Scott Downs, who were going to make it big in a world where starters get paid as much as $14 million US to play baseball for half the season, almost $3.5 million a game.

I have seen more Bluejays games lately because I got a new big TV, and it's better watching big baseball than small baseball on my computer. I remember the Rondell White trade. I remember the hope the Expos had for Scott Downs. I remember the disappointment that faded into forgetfulness because of all the other shit that happened with the Expos.

But what about Mr. Downs? I mean, there's a chance he might start a few games for the Jays (he already has started a few games) but he won't replace anybody if everyone is healthy. He doesn't have the stuff to become a closer. He's stuck as a middle reliever. The expectations, the dreams are all gone.

This is part of the reason motivational speakers make me so mad. Dream big and peruse your dream, don't let anything stop you. Well, you know what, sometimes you can't help it, sometimes things stop you and there's nothing you can do.

At the same time, Scotty is pitching in the majors. Sure it's in the role of the garbage man, but still, it's the majors.

I wonder how hard it is to maintain perspective. To accept a lesser role. To accept your limitations, and worse, accept what other people perceive as your limitations, despite trying as hard as you can. How do you do that? How do you lower your expectations and still be happy? How do you settle?

I am worried that I might have to settle. Maybe doing a Phd. is settling. Maybe I will have to settle on the program I pick. Maybe I'll end up settling in the work I do for the rest of my life. And is there really any point of me setting a line that don't want to cross (i.e. working at the library for the rest of my life). All it takes is the mental equivalent of a torn rotator cuff and I'll be looking at a career in the bullpen whether I like it or not.

So right now, Scott Downs is my hero. He blew a couple of games recently. He's stuck in the bullpen. But he's in the majors and, to the media at least, he's happy about that.