Academic Anxiety 2
I took a week of vacation to work on that term paper I mentioned last time.
I may not have mentioned that I think my academic future hangs in the balance. The paper is worth 80% of the mark in the class I am taking. I am taking the class, paying $800 plus, to show that “hey, I can do grad English courses ok, and get a good mark too, who cares that my degree was in Religion and my marks were mediocre, that was then, this is now.” If I get a good mark, I can ask my prof for a reference, and I have a much better chance of getting into the program I want at the school I want (where I am taking the class).
But if I DON’T get a good mark I am pretty much screwed. It will mean I haven’t progressed since my mediocre marks and perhaps I need a little more seasoning in the English department as a special student, paying for classes out of my library workers wage (or generous donations made possible by various relatives), or worse, perhaps I'm just not PhD material.
So, you know, a little bit of pressure. I spent the week not showering until 5pm, reading and reading and reading, pacing and pacing and pacing, staring at Minako when I was too freaked out to write, and finally, finally, FINALLY, getting it done.
Here’s my summary of the paper:
This one poem, by Henry Vaughan, if you look at it, like, as if somebody was just telling you a story about how they got born again or whatever, and you read this stuff written by thsi other guy, William James, to help you understand what happens to somebody when they are, like, born again, then it, like, totally makes sense.
My brain is fried now. But now I have to do Christmas things (like shopping and being social) which, honestly, don’t seem as bad as the paper.
Oh, and I get to wait nervously for the mark. That will be my favouritist part.
I may not have mentioned that I think my academic future hangs in the balance. The paper is worth 80% of the mark in the class I am taking. I am taking the class, paying $800 plus, to show that “hey, I can do grad English courses ok, and get a good mark too, who cares that my degree was in Religion and my marks were mediocre, that was then, this is now.” If I get a good mark, I can ask my prof for a reference, and I have a much better chance of getting into the program I want at the school I want (where I am taking the class).
But if I DON’T get a good mark I am pretty much screwed. It will mean I haven’t progressed since my mediocre marks and perhaps I need a little more seasoning in the English department as a special student, paying for classes out of my library workers wage (or generous donations made possible by various relatives), or worse, perhaps I'm just not PhD material.
So, you know, a little bit of pressure. I spent the week not showering until 5pm, reading and reading and reading, pacing and pacing and pacing, staring at Minako when I was too freaked out to write, and finally, finally, FINALLY, getting it done.
Here’s my summary of the paper:
This one poem, by Henry Vaughan, if you look at it, like, as if somebody was just telling you a story about how they got born again or whatever, and you read this stuff written by thsi other guy, William James, to help you understand what happens to somebody when they are, like, born again, then it, like, totally makes sense.
My brain is fried now. But now I have to do Christmas things (like shopping and being social) which, honestly, don’t seem as bad as the paper.
Oh, and I get to wait nervously for the mark. That will be my favouritist part.
posted by deadwriter at 7:51 a.m.
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