Unexpected

Optimus Prime disappeared when he started dating Bumblebee.

This was particularly disturbing considering I had sort of started dating her first. I say sort of because it never really got off the ground. A coffee or two, some phone conversations, that was all. I was still hung up on another girl. So Prime moved in.

But I also missed hanging out with Prime, the little that we did. Actually, just before he started dating her, we seemed to be in the same place a lot and hung out a lot. Then it all stopped.

So while their relationship flourished, I got more and more pissed off. I distinctly remember having a fight with Prime, over the phone, while the New York Rangers were winning the Stanley Cup.

The solution was I hung out with both of them a little more. It was still very rare. They tried to set up a few double dates, but nothing materialized for me.

Then one day, Prime told me Bumblebee was pregnant. I didn’t believe him. It was April Fool’s day, after all. He picked April first to tell me his girlfriend was pregnant. I listened to him asked him questions, and waited for him to break and say “April Fools!” and I periodically reminded him that I remembered it was April Fools and that I didn’t really believe him.

Eventually the reality set in. Prime was going to be a Daddy.

This had serious implications. We were, after all, good Pentecostal boys, and Bublebee’s pregnancy meant that they had clearly had pre-marital sex. This was a big deal, considering Prime and I were both on the leadership committee of the youth group.

That sounds much less important than it did back then…

In any case, Prime resigned and explained the situation to the whole youth group. A very emotional time. Some of the kids were disillusioned because Prime and Bumblebee were the very example of a good Christian couple.

Prime’s mom, meanwhile, went into damage control mode.

“Oh they only did it once, and they were on their knees right afterwards, begging for forgiveness…”

Prime confirmed that it was only once BEFORE they got pregnant… and few times after…

It’s funny though, the way the church protected its own. Nobody talked about it except his mom. It was swept under the rug, all the while, preachers condemning the promiscuous generation that we lived in. And later that year, everyone was all smiles and tears when a big bellied Bubmblebee walked down the aisle in her wedding dress.

Not the first time an extra martial pregnancy had been ignored in our church, I learned. Several couples in the church, now older, good, upstanding supporters of the church, had conceived out of wedlock.

I want to call it hypocritical, inconsistent with the morals the Evangelical church tries to promote. These people had sinned, and a sin that was condemned all the time. But everybody pretended like it didn’t happen.

I also want to call it a perfect example of the way a church should be. Loving, forgiving, understanding.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t either of those things. It was decorum and embarrassment. It was social faux pas and false acceptance.

And it played a part in the escape Prime, Bumblebee and I eventually took from the church.