Fallout
I had a party, a house warming party for my new, lonely apartment that I moved into after Wilma left (left me). I invited people from work. I considered them supportive friends, or at least, like distant family members.
Three people showed up. Trixie did not. I called her to find out what was going on, since I had talked to her multiple times about the party, and how important it was to me, but she just said she had company.
So a few days later at work, we were avoiding each other. I just didn't know how to talk to her. I was hurt and disappointed. She came over and asked me if I was mad at her. I said no, but I was disappointed. She got snippy and made some sarcastic remark. Later, I went over and told her I didn't want her to withdraw because of something stupid I did to make her uncomfortable, and she told me to stop acting like a girl.
So, over the next few weeks, we politely said hello, and avoided each other. She didn't call, didn't invite me out, didn't come over for lunch, didn't even ask me how things were going.
I tried several times to patch things up. None were really successful, and some were bigger failures than others (see below). I would ask her how her weekend was. I would tell her a funny story. I would ask her a question about work stuff that I already knew the answer to. But she was short, and sometimes snippy.
All the while, the little Buddha she gave me was sitting on top of my computer at work, a constant reminder that someone I thought was a close friend was now shedding me like excess weight.
So one day, when I had tried one more time to make a bridge, I took the little Buddha off of my computer and stuck it in my drawer. I decided that I always knew she was the kind of person who would rather withdraw than face up to things, and that in my... damaged state, I couldn't be the strong one who stood up and took that. I need to hang out with someone who had a little more compassion, a little more empathy, a little more understanding, a little more patience.
And then someone like that came along.
Three people showed up. Trixie did not. I called her to find out what was going on, since I had talked to her multiple times about the party, and how important it was to me, but she just said she had company.
So a few days later at work, we were avoiding each other. I just didn't know how to talk to her. I was hurt and disappointed. She came over and asked me if I was mad at her. I said no, but I was disappointed. She got snippy and made some sarcastic remark. Later, I went over and told her I didn't want her to withdraw because of something stupid I did to make her uncomfortable, and she told me to stop acting like a girl.
So, over the next few weeks, we politely said hello, and avoided each other. She didn't call, didn't invite me out, didn't come over for lunch, didn't even ask me how things were going.
I tried several times to patch things up. None were really successful, and some were bigger failures than others (see below). I would ask her how her weekend was. I would tell her a funny story. I would ask her a question about work stuff that I already knew the answer to. But she was short, and sometimes snippy.
All the while, the little Buddha she gave me was sitting on top of my computer at work, a constant reminder that someone I thought was a close friend was now shedding me like excess weight.
So one day, when I had tried one more time to make a bridge, I took the little Buddha off of my computer and stuck it in my drawer. I decided that I always knew she was the kind of person who would rather withdraw than face up to things, and that in my... damaged state, I couldn't be the strong one who stood up and took that. I need to hang out with someone who had a little more compassion, a little more empathy, a little more understanding, a little more patience.
And then someone like that came along.
posted by deadwriter at 8:44 a.m.
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